Robotic Crotch Lasers

I have been ‘good’ at drawing from an early age, for as long as I can remember really. What this meant, for me, was that I could put down on paper a cartoon robot that closely resembled the one living in my brain, suggestive crotch laser and all (yes I drew a robot that had what I intended to be a short tail laser but, not quite having a handle on the rules of perspective at the age of nine, said laser looked like mechanical genitalia and yes it did appear in a school yearbook, I blame the editor).

I could copy my favourite Transformers (Optimus Prime, Dinobots, and Ravage) though I did prefer to create my own characters. I remember there was a kid in my class in primary school who could draw really cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle stuff and I was so jealous because I’d try to draw them but I’d get distracted and draw something else that popped into my head. Yes I know it’s probably better that I drew my own creations but, let me tell you, he was the popular artist guy for at least a year solid and sometimes you just want to draw really cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Raphael, mostly). Bitter? Me? No.

Most importantly though, for me, was that I could look at something; an apple, a leaf, a model aeroplane; and I could draw an accurate representation of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I was a child prodigy capable of drawing photorealistic pencil studies of anything my gaze surveyed. No, thanks to the lottery of genetics, I found I had a natural talent for drawing from life. I have rested on the laurels of this talent at various times during my artistic progression but I have found that I’m happier and prouder of myself when I push myself to grow this seed that is my talent and challenge and strengthen it with hard work.

What follows is a reconstruction and does not necessarily represent the actual crotch laser drawing. Can you spot it?

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